hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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