i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
