"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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