the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
