Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
