I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
