I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i came on her dog
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
