shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
