The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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