I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
