She is in my trunk
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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