I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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