Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
