I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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