My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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