I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
