I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
