She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
