I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
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I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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