I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
