So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
