haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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