i need an iv and a liver transplant
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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