That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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