You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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