Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
