Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
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actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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