Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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