i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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