Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't breathe out the right side of my face

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  (646): I can't breathe out the right side of my face http://tfl.nu/2qbr
  Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (2112)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

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  (818): Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire. http://tfl.nu/r0t1
  Replies (39) Good night (994) Bad night (3197)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he wasn't. neither were you.

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  (920): dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss? (1-920): no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom? (920): he wasn't. neither were you. http://tfl.nu/3ltg
  Replies (16) Good night (7241) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.

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  (724): I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo. http://tfl.nu/korz
  Replies (12) Good night (8110) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.

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  (734): i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up. http://tfl.nu/9mj6
  Replies (12) Good night (1081) Bad night (3828)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.

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  (252): just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far. http://tfl.nu/f1u5
  Replies (20) Good night (4235) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.

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  (720): He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were. http://tfl.nu/8g5z
  Replies (7) Good night (909) Bad night (2474)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.

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  (952): He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan. http://tfl.nu/7ucr
  Replies (17) Good night (996) Bad night (1704)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.

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  (516): I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology. http://tfl.nu/5jdj
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive

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  (704): His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be. (336): You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver. (704): Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive http://tfl.nu/8bf5
  Replies (7) Good night (1453) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...

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  (231): Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night... http://tfl.nu/5nvm
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.

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  (248): They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror. http://tfl.nu/3vjx
  Replies (2) Good night (1264) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig

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  (270): There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig http://tfl.nu/4pd5
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".

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  (570): I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet". http://tfl.nu/7uaq
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.

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  (717): I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn. http://tfl.nu/r03i
  Replies (3) Good night (408) Bad night (268)

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