tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
