watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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