Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?