tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??