If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
