People in love make me want to vomit
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
