real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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