She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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