omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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