so that wasnt chicken after all
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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