absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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