i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!