Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...