how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina