my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
