Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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