He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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