he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
