She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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