: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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