I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
