chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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