don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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