i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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