i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
