You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
