Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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