Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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