yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
