This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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