Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
