laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
