therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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