that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
