Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
