grandma shit on top of the toilet
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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